AUGUST CALENDAR : Melons, mustard and waffles

AUGUST CALENDAR : Melons, mustard and waffles

STORY AND ILLUSTRATIONS BY RON WOLFE

Posted on Thursday, July 31, 2008

August is watermelon month. It comes with the slippery seeds of many other things to celebrate. Butterflies, Elvis and waffles make the scene, all set to the plink of the banjo, rattle of the chuckwagon, and hum of the air conditioner. 1 National Respect for Parents Day, National Win with Civility Month, National Learn Japanese Month — and question: Which one is the best way to avoid a fight over the dinner table ? Answer: O-kanjou kudasai. (Check, please. ) SHORE ENOUGH White River Water Carnival through Aug. 2 in Batesville. Call (870 ) 793-2378. ROOM WITH VIEWS “Recent Acquisitions” exhibit through Sept. 21 at the Arkansas Arts Center, Little Rock. Call (501 ) 372-4000. Big Dam Bridge Walk for Children and Families, 6 p.m. from Cook’s Landing, North Little Rock, benefits Methodist Family Health. Call (501 ) 661-0720.

HEY, SQUIRT ! 2 National Get Ready for Kindergarten Month, National Mustard Day — and why kindergarten is like a squeeze bottle of mustard They both let out in a hurry.

They both wind up on the floor. 3 Tony Bennett’s 82 nd birthday. He left his heart in San Francisco, but where did he leave his footprint ?

(Answer at Aug. 28. ) 4 National Psychic Week. Anybody see it coming ? ANOTHER VINE FEST 5 Tontitown Grape Festival: Carnival through Aug. 9; spaghetti dinners Aug. 7-9, Tontitown near Fayetteville. Schedule at www. tontitowngrapefestival. com. Call (479 ) 361-2615. 6 National Fresh Breath Day — and three kinds of breath that need freshening A cat with mouse breath.

A vampire with garlic breath. Superman’s super-breath after a dinner of Aug. 24 ’s (wheee-ooie !) entree. RED TAG SALES IN THE SUNSET 7 Bargains Galore on 64 through Aug. 9: Yard sales along 160 miles of U. S. 64 from Beebe, near Little Rock, west to Fort Smith. Call (888 ) 568-3552.

SCREEN PLAY Reception to benefit Movies in the Park, Little Rock’s outdoor summer film series, 5-7 p.m. at the Clinton School of Public Service. Call (501 ) 683-5238. NOSE TO THE RIND ZONE Hope Watermelon Festival through Aug. 10 at Hope’s Fair Park. Schedule at www. hopechamberofcommerce. com. Call (870 ) 777-3640. Cave City Watermelon Festival through Aug. 9. Schedule at www. cavecityarkansas. info. Call (870 ) 283-5959. 8 Batesville’s 2 nd Friday Downtown Wander and Wonder Walk, a stroll through a half dozen antique stores, 5-8 p.m. Call (870 ) 793-4632.

PAGE-TURNERS 9 Arkansas Book and Paper Show through Aug. 10 at Jacksonville Community Center, Jacksonville. Call (501 ) 336-9313. BLUE SUEDE SHOWS Elvis Week through Aug. 17 in Memphis, the city that missed being in Arkansas, where it belongs, by just one pesky river (uh-huh-huh, the Mississippi ). All-shook-up details at www. elvisweek. com. Call (800 ) 238-2000. RELATIVES AND OTHER RELICS Arkansas Genealogical Society’s Let’s Get Started in Genealogy seminar with Desmond Walls Allen, 8: 30 a. m.-3: 15 p.m. at Pleasant Valley Church of Christ, Little Rock. Call (501 ) 912-3587. National Garage Sale Day.

VEILED ANSWERS 10 Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Bridal Fair, 1-5: 30 p.m. at the Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock. Call (501 ) 918-4539. 11 Hulk Hogan — pinned by his 55 th birthday. HAPPY LANDING 12 Race for Planet X interactive exhibit challenges youngsters to explore another planet, through Aug. 16 at the Arts and Science Center for Southeast Arkansas, Pine Bluff. Call (870 ) 536-3375. 13 National Underwear Day, National Inventors Month, National Men’s Grooming Day — and how to improve men’s skivvies: The next step in long johns: short johns for little guys.

RSVP BVDs for black-tie affairs. They ride up late to make a big impression. And for spies: debriefed briefs.

TICKLED PLINK 14 Northwest Arkansas Bluegrass Festival through Aug. 16 at Beacon Park near Harrison. Call (870 ) 577-2455. Ernest Thayer’s birthday, 1863, and an overweight Arkansan’s rewrite of his famous verse CASEY AT THE FAT The napkin’s gone from Casey’s lip, He’s gotta lose some weight; He pounds with cruel violence His enemy, the plate. But now comes dinner: pork chops, Umm, and every kind of fry. He grabs his fork, and swi-iiiiings ! — And never misses. Pass the pie. 15 National Relaxation Day. Be on time ! Get it right ! FOB: FRIENDS OF BIRTHDAY BOY 16 Free admission to the Clinton Presidential Center, Little Rock, celebrates former President Clinton’s 62 nd birthday (Aug. 19 ). Call (501 ) 374-4242.

Washington County Historical Society’s Old-Fashioned Ice Cream Social, 4-7: 30 p.m. at Headquarters House, Fayetteville. Call (479 ) 521-2970. 17 Davy Crockett’s birthday, 1786.

“Fame is like a shaved pig... some fellow, by mere chance, holds on to it !” — Davy Crockett 18 Robert Redford’s 71 st birthday. Mere chance + movie-star looks = more chance.

“People have been so busy relating to how I look, it’s a miracle I didn’t become a self-conscious blob of protoplasm.” — Robert Redford. 19 National Happiness Happens Month. Bluebirds sing by the peppermint springs. 20 Heads up and shoes off for National Aviation Week. BANJO MOJO 21 Eureka Springs Bluegrass Festival through Aug. 24 with the Eureka Springs Bluegrass Band and more. Details at www. eurekaspringsbluegrass festival. com. (479 ) 253-7788.

HUG A CHUG 22 Frisco Festival, through Aug. 23 in Rogers, celebrates Northwest Arkansas’ railroad heritage. Call (479 ) 936-5487. Southern Baptist Sissies, weekends through Sept. 6 at The Weekend Theater, downtown Little Rock. Call (501 ) 374-3761.

WHIRLED NEWS TONIGHT 23 National Championship Chuckwagon Races through Aug. 31 at the Bar of Ranch near Clinton. Trail rides and other cowboy events lead to the wagon races Aug. 29-31. Details at www. chuckwagonraces. com. Call (501 ) 745-8407.

HOT TOPIC Firefighters’ World fire safety programs, trucks and gear, 10 a. m.-1 p.m. at Pinnacle Mountain State Park near Little Rock. Call (501 ) 868-5806. 24 Sweden’s sour herring season. NATO airdrops breath mints. OBAMA-RAMA 25 Democratic National Convention through Aug. 28 in Denver. (The Republican National Convention will be Sept. 1-4 in St. Paul, Minn. ) National Second-hand Wardrobe Day. The white polyester disco suit — timeless !

LIKE A ROLLIN’ DRONE 26 Bob Dylan, 8 p.m. at Riverfest Amphitheatre, Little Rock. Call (501 ) 975-7575.

Musical Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming through Oct. 5 at Murry’s Dinner Playhouse, Little Rock. Call (501 ) 562-3131.

National Dog Day. Sit. Stay. 27 Day after National Dog Day. Stay, Bobo. Stay-yyy, fella. 28 Day after day after National Dog Day. Good dog ! Come, Bobo. (He thinks he’s a person. ) Answer to Aug. 3 ’s question, where did Tony Bennett leave his footprint: “In the Middle of An Island —” When it’s time to do some kissin’, Plenty time for lotsa lovin’, Walkin’ barefoot in the sand.

SPARK PLUG 29 Movie and discussion of Who Killed the Electric Car ?, 7 p.m. at the Winthrop Rockefeller Institute on Petit Jean Mountain near Morrilton, part of the institute’s Reel Stories documentary film series. Call (501 ) 727-6219.

FLIT TO BE TRIED 30 Wings of Wonder butterfly weekend through Sept. 1 at Queen Wilhelmina State Park near Mena. Call (479 ) 394-2863.

Frankenstein author Mary Shelley’s birthday — it’s aliv-vvvvve ! — 1797. 31 Frankenstein’s monster stumbles into National Waffle Week. Smoke ... good ! Drink... good ! Table... sticky ! Waiter... wet rag ! Coming next month: September ! Call (501 ) 399-3633, write to Ron Wolfe, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 121 E. Capitol Ave., Little Rock, Ark. 72201, or e-mail rwolfe@arkansasonline. com by Aug. 15 to suggest September calendar entries or what else Bob Dylan could find blowin ’ in the wind these days, such as: Home mortgages. Barack Obama’s hat. Butterflies lost on the way to Mena for lack of a GPS — Gossamer Progression System. Each event requires a phone number that is answered during business hours or by an answering machine that identifies the event or its sponsor.