Underwear Design Flops
Justin
While recently dusting under my bed I came across a stack of library books I checked out a couple years ago. It was at a point in my life when I decided that I’d be “green” as well as economic by borrowing versus buying books. Sounds good in theory, but returning them is never as fun or as much of a priority as going to pick them out – kind of like clothes.
As I turned to leave the library my eye fell upon a framed print of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, after the famous Albrecht Dürer etching from 1504. What struck me as I examined the innocent yet doomed faces is what they were wearing…or rather, what they weren’t wearing. Like many interpretations of the biblical story, Adam and Eve wear leaves to cover themselves up. Supposedly they frolicked around naked, but when presented to the public, artists cover them up with various flora and fauna. The more I thought about this the more I was confused. Why not use buckskins? Were Adam and Eve vegetarian? Did they not have access to sharp objects? Was non-violence part of the whole schtick in the garden? In my opinion, the leaf is the original sin in a long history of impractical underwear. Another offender would be the Tarzan loincloth. If anything, Tarzan would be wearing a leaf tied with branches, as he was far more primal. And I doubt he would have taken the time to tie some cloth around himself.
Fast-forward about 500 years and you’ve got women wearing something called a C-string. When I recently heard about this underwear style I was confused and couldn’t picture how “C” shaped underwear would really work. Then I did a Google search and still couldn’t wrap my head around it. How does it stay in place? Perhaps some sort of suction mechanism or double sided tape? The only other thing that comes to mind is squeezing the thighs to ensure the “C” stays in place. All in all it seems like a lot of work. I would almost say the leaf and branches might be a better option.