Like it our not, this is our top 10 undie DONTs for this summer. If you find yourself falling into one or, dare I say it, more categories below, please please please take a look at our Fit & Size Guide to find out what size is right for you.

These are crimes no underwear-wearing human should commit.

1. Bunchy butt

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than wearing underwear that’s baggier than your pants. It twists, bunches, rides up and sags. And we don’t want to see it either. If you decide to wear leggings, for heaven’s sake please wear something with a slimmer cut to avoid looking like a Shar Pei.

2. Strappy backs

Two straps are okay. Four straps are okay. Anything more is ridiculous. Black bra, pink tank, green tank, orange tank- the straps alone look like a blend of everyone’s thoughts at a Grateful Dead concert. If you’re going to sport more than one shirt, wear a strapless bra. Just thinking of all those straps is distracting me from my work.

3. Flyaway butt cheek

The beginning of summer doesn’t mean the end of blustery days. And less clothing does not mean less underwear. Short skirt + thong + wind = flyaway butt cheeks. You never know when a gust of wind will kick your skirt high into the air. Prepare yourself with undies that are cute, clean and cover your bum!

4. High rise

High-rises are great for New York apartments and South Beach condos, not as accessories for low-rise jeans. There is no reason to wear granny panties that rise 9 inches above your waistband. It is a waste of fabric and looks ridiculous.

5. T-back-a-saurus

What’s worse than too much underwear hanging out of your pants? What about too little? I don’t know one human being who enjoys seeing thongs hanging out of girls’ pants. It’s rude, embarrassing and completely avoidable with the correct pair of low-rise panties. Let’s all do our part to make sure the t-back-a-saurus gets extinct this summer.

6. Color crimes

Bras and underwear can be quite fashionable, but there is a time and place to show them off. Under white shirts and pants is not the appropriate place to wear your bright purple and orange lingerie. If there is one rule you remember all summer, let it be that white garments = nude undergarments.

7. Do your boobs hang low?

Do you boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over o’er your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you need to buy a better bra (or put one on to begin with). Ladies, if you are well–endowed, A BIKINI TOP DOES NOT COUNT AS A BRA. Nothing is more disgusting to see in the hot summer months than a pair of knockers blowing with the breeze.

8. Bra tan lines

The female farmer’s tan grosses me out like no other. It brings back memories of summer fun ruined by sports bras and two-a-days. Unless you work outside all day, every day, there is no excuse for bra tan lines. Look people, if you refuse to wear a bra that properly fits under your clothing, wear sunscreen. What is the point of an uneven tan?

9. Emergency underwear bathing suit

Swimwear is typically fabricated from materials such as nylon, Lycra, spandex etc. Why? Because these fabrics are resilient when wet and are quick to dry. Do you think your cotton underpants are going to have the same properties after jumping into a pool? Skivvies by land and suits by sea. Unless you are going for the sewer-dweller look, I’d steer clear of this situation.

10. Poopty peupty pants

Saggy, baggy and vomitous, OH MY! Do you realize that when you wear underwear six sizes too big, it looks like a diaper? We don’t want to hear the comfort argument because there’s no way a saggy butt can feel pleasant. You need to accept Goldilocks’ reasoning and refuse the too big and too small by going for something that fits just right.

It’s not too late - go out and get yourself a fresh pair!

Dear Layla,

Thanks a bunch!
New Mommy

I can imagine how nervous you are to reveal your new baby to friends and family, but please don’t worry about your body! I’m sure most of that pressure is internal because family and friends that love you should not be judging you on how quickly you lose the bump. So relax a little…and let some shapewear do the rest!

I don’t know what type of bulges we are talking about but nothing should keep you away from those spring brights! Try some of the styles below in nude so they blend in with your skin and you will be able to wear whatever you like over it.

	Spring Dress: Your legs are probably in good shape so show them off and tame your tummy in this Hide and Sleek Hi-Rise Panty 140 by Spanx
	White jeans & Colorful top: Get some tone in your thighs and butt, while checking your gut before squeezing into classic white jeans and one of the colorful spring tops. This Get in Shape Long Leg Brief 805123 by Wacoal can help.
	Summery skirt: Don’t let your worry about the things your disappearing baby bump is leaving behind, shape up with a style like this one from Body Wrap with sheer skirts that flutter you still won’t be able to see this second skin shapewear piece. Try the High-Waist Brief 44811 by Body Wrap.

Again, please remember, your friends and family are going to be supportive of you with or without that extra little bulge. Enjoy the day, you deserve it!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Xoxo,
Layla

I don’t know about you, but my mother always stressed the importance of wearing nice underwear. Just to be an obnoxious rascal, I would ask, “But why mom? Who is ever going to see my underwear on some random day of the week?” As they say, mama knows best because no matter how hard you try to cover your skivvies at all times, there will always be a defining moment in your life when you wish you’d have worn a fresh pair. Here is a list of the top 10 places you wouldn’t want to be caught wearing undies resembling the yellow, crumbling parchment on which the Declaration of Independence was written.

10. Riding the bus

Maybe I’m just clumsy, but I’ve fallen down dozens of times while getting on and off the bus. Luckily, even during my nastiest fall, all clothing stayed in place. But you may not be so lucky. You don’t want your entire neighborhood to see your dirty knickers.

9. Gym class

The horrors of grade school gym class still haunt me. Although I only pretended to run the mile and ducked under every softball I was supposed to catch, it was impossible for anyone to get out of changing from his or her uniform into sweatpants. Wear clean underwear kids. You don’t want Gossip Gretchen to make adolescent life worse than it already is.

8. At a World Cup soccer game

Soccer fans are bat-shit crazy. They yell, curse, fight, spit and burn things down. World Cup games are very exciting and extremely entertaining. The next World Cup is only one year away. If you decide to go, make sure you pack plenty of clean underwear. If the opposing team loses to you, its fans might fight you for your pants.

7. Las Vegas

You never know what’s going to happen in Vegas. Pack cute underwear.

6. Walking down the sidewalk

Have you ever felt the air blowing up from the grates in the sidewalk? Have you ever felt your skirt hit your face because the air blew it over your head? Flashing the entire block is embarrassing enough. Doing so in last Tuesday’s underpants is much worse.

5. Dancing

Boogie woogie rock and roll, dance the night away. When you are in super serious dance mode, crazy moves and bizarre body angles take over your motor skills. If your underwear happens to peak out of your trousers when your in the zone, you want to be sure they are super fly. People should be crowding around you because you have ill moves, not because your undies belong to your grandmother.

4. On a roller coaster

Nothing is more fun than riding a really scary roller coaster. Disagreeing with me would make you wrong. It’s also wrong to wear contaminated underwear on one of these joy-generating contraptions. Gravity is not your friend and will bite you. One loose button on those pants, and everyone in line will be entertained. Don’t be embarrassed by your souvenir photograph.

3. The dressing room

Sales associates can be annoying. I know because I worked as one back in the day. And let me tell you, many customers provided me with too much information. Rule #1: Don’t exit the dressing room in your underwear. It scares the other customers. Rule #2: Don’t exit the dressing room wearing underwear that resembles remnants of a Mount Vesuvius eruption. It’s gross.

2. A bonfire

I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve seen it happen with my own two eyes. Someone gets too close to the flames and catches on fire. He or she stops, drops and rolls to save his or her own flesh from burning. The fire is out but there’s a hole in the pants. Oh my goodness did the underwear burn!? NO, they are just dirty? Oh that’s really gross; you should probably just toss those in the fire.

1. Birthday parties

Hip hop hooray ho! Everyone loves a birthday party. Cake, ice cream, loud music, clowns, elephants etc. But what happens when the party gets out of hand? You get excited, start swinging from a chandelier and someone runs by and pulls your pants down as a joke. Woops! Hope you were wearing a fresh pair!

The auto-response most are trained to give when asked “Does size really matter?” is “No, of course not.”. This is a misleading & culture deteriorating lie we should stand up against. Of course size matters!

Now, maybe you think this doesn’t apply, that you are immune and that it’s not important. Your naivety is precious, but, alas, no one is impervious, it will creep up on you eventually (literally).

So what can you do to combat this problem? Measure yourself, know how you size up and let others weigh in if needed.

Measuring

Know that the true size of your underwear is typically the same size as your jeans. When you measure your waist, be sure to wrap the tape measure around your body at the same level as where your jeans are worn, make sure the tape is flat, taunt and laying horizontally on the body.

Brand Sizing

Always check each brand’s size guide to be sure your medium is their medium. There is nothing worse than buying a fancy pair of boxer briefs to have them be a size (or more) smaller than what you expected. It’s uncomfortable, unflattering and definitely not the show you want to put on when you take off your pants. We’ve gathered together all the size charts in one place to help you compare apples to apples – See our Fit & Size Guide for underwear, then choose your brand from the dropdown.

Read Reviews

If you still can’t decide if a brand’s medium is truly a medium, then read reviews for that product and similar products from that brand. Freshpair has thousands of reviews from actual customers that include comments on sizing and fit. Who better to advise on how a specific product fits than the people wearing that product day-to-day? If there’s an issue, they’ll let you know.

With this information at hand, you can now avoid the sad situation when your new mediums fit like a small and feel like some S&M contraption meant to restrict your movement.

Plus, check out all our Fit & Size guides: underwear, t-shirts, socks, and sleepwear.

Happy Underwearing.