It’s that time of year again! Football will claim the eyes and ears of our boyfriends/husbands this weekend, and on that fateful Sunday, millions of significant others across the nation will not be watching the latest news or celebrity gossip or you, it will be the tossing of the pigskin that will claim their attention.

I think I would get a bad rap with the guys if I were to tell you to use the following tactics on the big day, but I can say that if your man has been playing too much PS3 or watching too much CSI, the following maneuvers are guaranteed to tempt his attention away from the screen and to you!

Take it down

The floor is where we used to sit before we had chairs, it’s primitive. Anything primitive has some sort of seduction. So find a way to get on the floor between him and his precious tube. Try organizing or filing, and as long as you’re in between his line of sight and the TV you will be noticed. Try getting there in your robe, right out of the shower, and with a bottle or jar of lotion. Proceed to lotion yourself up right in front of him…do you think he can ignore that? Didn’t think so.

Slide it off

This maneuver also arouses the primitive instincts. It involves slowly disrobing, and it works perfectly for either the cold winter months when heating is working on overtime, or warm summer months when the air conditioning isn’t working hard enough. This does not necessitate you being in his line of sight, but you will have to comment on how hot it is in the room, while taking off one piece. Wait a minute, comment again, and take off another. You’ll need to prepare for this by wearing layers! I think it also helps if you grab something to fan yourself with, don’t be too obvious maybe just a magazine that’s lying around. Seeing you all hot and bothered over the temperature will make him think about how to get you all hot and bothered over him!

Tantalize with Taste

Eating is seductive, and it really all depends on what you are eating and how you are eating it. So next time you sit down to share a meal over the boob tube consider this. Let him face the tube, but you face him. Eat slowly, possibly with your hands. For examples of eating seductively see FlashDance and Clueless. Something meaty you can tear into works (crunching celery really doesn’t have the same effect!) or something sweet like chocolate or even strawberries. Really taste the food, and of course wear a subtly sexy piece of lingerie and see how long he can stand it before biting the bait!

It comes as no surprise, America is getting bigger. And as we tighten our belts financially there is a push to tighten the belt physically as well.

There comes a time in every woman’s life, that she must face the three way mirror. This is no laughing matter, some women go out of their way with complicated return and purchase and exchange transactions just to avoid this ordeal! Fear that mirror no more, with a little help and support from a finely engineered piece of lingerie (in the right size of course) you can face that triple threat face on - or back on.

The three way mirror is not like the side mirror on your car, objects are not larger in the three way. I think in fact, it is the multiplicity and angles that make this reflection so hard to take. We don’t see our backs on a daily basis so imagine a woman’s horror one day out of 365 when she heads into the dressing room and can’t even enjoy the beauty of her outfit when she’s faced with not a reflection of her beautiful self but a reflection of VPL and bra bulge! Que horror! True beauty is a reflection of the inside and fitting room mirrors let you know when your undergarments don’t fit, and that’s an easily solved problem.

Instead of dreading the next trip to the store, prepare! Arming yourself with the right undergarments can help you fit into the right size and the dress or suit you’ve been dreaming of will slide on smoothly!

Bulge Buster 1: Operation tummy tuck

So maybe the years, the kids, and the late night runs to the fridge have not been kind to your mid-section. Take a cue from your mother, and don’t think that the knife is the answer. Nature can’t stand up to some of today’s top shapewear.

So arm yourself with a pair of Spanx or two!

Bulge Buster 2: Operation bust must

Whether it’s the back bulge or the double breast, a properly supportive and functional bra can work wonders on your figure and make you feel slimmer and like you had a lift, again without any of that surgery nonsense!

For a look that smooths in the back opt for a ballet back style with a large back band and more supportive construction, this is the best option for a style that won’t cinch in the wrong ways:

Bodysuede Full Figure Seamless Bra 85185 by Wacoal

Also make sure you’re in a bra that fits right, if you have some bulging along the neckline or it’s digging in, try going up a cup size the next time you purchase a bra. It will make slipping into a slinky dress or top go so much smoother!

Bulge Buster 3: Operation Leg up

It’s no secret that leggings are huge, but a simple pair of control leggings can add lightweight shaping and smoothing and give legs that extra sexy smooth look beneath again a dress or slacks.

Armed with this intimate knowledge I’m sure you’ll take that three-way by storm!

We have been bombarded by signs of the economic downturn, and many people have tightened their belts financially. That doesn’t change the fact that 98% of people wear underwear.

So how do you save money in this essential category?

I say spend smart and invest in pieces that means something, fit right, and are made of quality materials. Not many people completely purge their intimate drawer, it’s usually more of adding to the collection of pieces and leaving behind items that are worn, faded, or ill fitting. I suggest lace and embroidery. Since the Middle Ages handmade laces and embroideries signified having wealth to attain them, so today lace and embroidery still reads rich even if it is relatively affordable.

A piece with edge lace such as the Whimsy, Aruba Seamess Bra 16111 by Lunaire,

allover lace such as the No. 9 Scarlett All-Over Lace Bra 7139 by Le Mystere No. 9,

or embroidery like the Feather Embroidery Underwire Bra 85121 by Wacoal looks elegant,

refined like the Embrace Lace Push Up Bra 65891 by Wacoal,

and luxurious like the Lost in Lace Contour Bra 65369 by Wacoal.

From the first time I saw lace in my mother’s intimate drawer as a little girl I knew a love affair had begun.

Pictured above is the Chantilly Demi Bra 2805 by Chantelle

It was white, delicate, and so different from anything I had ever touched or seen before. I look back on that moment now with a little smile, and I am hoping if you haven’t had that moment yet you’ll take the leap and fall in love with lace. No matter what your personality or style there is a lace for you.

There is clean sophisticated like the Sensual Curves Push-Up Bra 458569 by DKNY,

free spirited and fun such as the Geo Floral Stretch Lace Bandeau F8970220 by Free People,

or classic like theDentelle Underwire Bra E75-261 by Elle Macpherson Intimates style

that will make you fall in love with lace and begin your own love story.

Justin

Last night I was having dinner with a friend at a new restaurant in Greenwich Village. I had read about the spot in Vanity Fair, since the editor in chief is a partner in the place, and I heard the mashed potatoes were out of this world. I dressed accordingly, thinking what is cool yet classic yet casual? I channel my inner Graydon Carter and don my favorite corduroys, but first throwing on a pair of boxers. And in that, lay my downfall.

So much thought and inspiration from the greats of history and publishing, but no pause to consider the basics. Fast-forward an hour, I’m on the cool yet classic woven chairs like you’d see on the porch of an Englishman’s house in British-occupied India. I’m in my corduroys and white button down. All I need is the pipe and I could be Rudyard Kipling. One more glass of wine and I might start actually believing that.

Anyway, the slope of the chair is just so, and since my corduroys have that kind of soft slickness, I start to slide. As I do so, my boxers take on the shape of Tarzan’s loincloth. I’m no longer Kipling, but a Neanderthal. This type of wedgie can be described as your classic friction wedgie, where if your underwear doesn’t have anything to fight gravity, they’re going to end up somewhere around your navel. Other culprits include the skinny wedgie where if you’re a thin guy, like me, the elastic slips above your hip bones so you end up feeling like you’re wearing a diaper.

For me, the key to combating this foe of comfort, is to consider the move to a boxer brief. With a more fitted model, you can keep everything in place and focus on the conversation, people watching, and mashed potatoes.

I was sitting on the train today, when I was forced to encounter one of my worst nightmares as a lingerie designer and fit specialist: V.P.L. or otherwise known as Visible Panty Line.

The symptoms of VPL are lines, bulges, and creases associated with ill-fitting underwear that affects the smooth appearance of pants, skirts, and slacks. Not to be confused with other “below the belt” issues such as camel-toe, peek-a-thong, droopy diaper, saggy bottom, or bunching.

I couldn’t wrap my head around why anyone would have this issue in a day and age when fit help is so readily available at your corner boutique, or here at Freshpair! It’s just a call away why someone would not look in the mirror and notice this or any other underwear disfiguration was beyond me. I chewed on this all day, until I encountered what I like to call “the creepy guy” at work. You know him well, he will inappropriately lean in when he talks to you, talk to your chest, or awkwardly brush up against you by the water cooler. *Light bulb goes off in my head* VPL does have a purpose! This ugly result of ill-fitting underwear has beautiful results as a deterrent to Office Creepy Guy, or Street Meat Stand Creepy Guy, or Mail Carrier Creepy Guy, even Super Market Creepy Guy. You see, Creeps are repelled by anything that distorts their torrid sexual fantasies, so throwing a wrench in those gears stops them directly in their tracks!

Imagine my chagrin, I’ve judged so many women for so many years, but I had no clue they had a well kept secret to defending against the creeps I bump into everyday. I didn’t run out to the store to buy too tight underwear or pants though. I didn’t start hiking up my thongs. I do get it though, and I think as life goes on and I get tired of the creeps it will be tempting, but if anyone wants to find another solution to their intimates dilemmas I suggest calling a Freshpair representative and asking for some advice on how your underwear can make you look so good that the creeps are afraid to even have a fantasy in the first place. By looking smoking hot in your perfectly fitting lingerie you could strike fear into the hearts of all the creeps out there, so they won’t even dare to look!