Halloween Costumes – A Trick or a Treat?

Every year when Halloween rolls around, all fashion stops are pulled, and it’s pretty much any outfit goes for the night. For those of the female persuasion, this usually includes nylon, polyester, anything stretchy, and anything tight. If you’ve never been there before, then good for you! For those of you who have been there, and are going back for another visit this year, I just have to put in my two cents so when you are wearing that tight, stretchy, shiny outfit, you can look your best (or as good as one can expect to look in those costumes).

1. Remember to avoid panty lines! I’ve already done a post on this, but I just have to say it again. Visible panty lines make this world an ugly place – do your part to beautify our planet! It is possible to find thongs that are comfortable and don’t pinch. My suggestions would be the following:

Hanky Panky Stretch Lace Thong

Calvin Klein Naked Thong

These are both very comfortable, and won’t show unsightly lines under your costume.

2. After all the time you’ve put into planning your costume, you don’t want to be mistaken for a sausage, do you? This goes for women of all sizes – shiny, skin-tight nylon is kind to no one! This is the time to turn to shapewear. Nobody will know you have it on, and you’ll look great in your cat suit that was made for a celery stick. Give these a try:

Spanx Hide and Sleek Hi-Rise Thong Back Panty

Body Wrap Bodysuit with Underwire

Sassybax Torso Trim with Underwire

Spanx Higher Power with Tummy Control

3. Just because a corset top is part of your costume doesn’t mean that you have to forsake support for style. If you are looking for a corset to use as part of an outfit, take a look at these:

Carnival Bridal Splendor Brasselette

Panache Venus Thong Bodysuit

And if there is a corset top as part of a costume you purchased that just is not giving you enough support to take care of the twins, try these great strapless bras that won’t show, but will be with you all night giving you the lift you need.

Wacoal Halo Lace Convertible Strapless Bra

Sassybax Underwire Strapless Bandeau Bra

Natori Reflex Memory Pad Strapless Convertible Bra

Le Mystere Shameless Strapless Bra

That should cover the top three problems I see when I’m walking the streets on Halloween. Costumes should be fun…and only scary when they’re meant to be.

Just be careful in bending over to pick things up when you’re baring more skin than fangs on the 31st.

Happy Halloween!

1955 – Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch

Sidewalk grates were never viewed the same again after Marilyn came into contact with one in The Seven Year Itch. Now, every time any woman is wearing a dress and walks over one of these vents and feels a breeze, she undeniably feels a tiny bit like an iconic sex symbol. Admit it…you know exactly what I’m talking about.

1978 – Superman – Underwear is the new Outerwear

Does wearing underwear as outerwear enhance super powers? I am unfamiliar with the rules of the superhero realm, but no one can forget Christopher Reeve as the original Superman, complete with skivvies showing on the outside.

1983 – Tom Cruise – The Greater the Risk, The Greater the Return

Before his scientology ways and couch-jumping antics overtook his reputation, Tom was known for rocking out in his undies in Risky Business. This scene has been re-enacted so many times in ads, movies, TV shows, and most likely even in our dreams back in the 80s.

1990 – Madonna’s Fit and Coned Figure

Changing the nature of underwear forever, Madonna followed in Superman’s footsteps and wore her lingerie on the outside for all to see. Her famous cone bra ensemble that she wore during her Blond Ambition tour in 1990 kicked off a decade of awesome fashion trends such as shoulder pads, stirrup pants, flannel shirts, and yes oh yes, the one-shoulder-strap-overalls look.

1993 – Wahlberg Leaves His (Marky) Mark

In the 90s, the name Marky Mark became synonymous with Calvin Klein Underwear. Known for his incredible physique (blown up by his appearance in “Good Vibrations”), the ads that he did in his Calvins were recognized worldwide, and are still burned into the memories of women worldwide.

1994 – Bill Clinton – TMI on MTV

President Clinton appeared on an MTV forum in ‘94 where the classic (and awkward) question of “Boxers or briefs?” was posed to him. The then-President chose briefs, but for some reason, I don’t think this was a burning question in the minds of young Americans. Too much information! >

1995 – Victoria’s Secret Revealed

The hype around the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show today is insane. You would think that Britney Spears was going to debut her comeback tour during the show by the extent to which it’s advertised. Well, the magic all started in 1995, when the first Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show took place, sans Angels, but still fun for all.

2001 – Nicole Kidman – 100% Satine

Baz Luhrmann’s musical hit Moulin Rouge caused a stir for its costumes as much as its music and storyline, as evidenced by its 2002 Oscar win for Best Costume Design. Nicole blew everyone away with her dazzling (and bedazzled) corset-based outfits, all laced up from the waist up!

2001 – Renee Zellweger – Bridget Jones’s Diary

Everyone has a Bridget Jones in their life (and if you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you!). She’s lovable, real, awkward, silly, and best of all, easily relatable. However, I hope you can’t relate to the granny panty incident she had in that movie! Listen to your mom and always, always, always wear a fresh pair. You never know where life may lead, and clean (stylish) underwear is a must indeed.

2007 – Boxers and Thongs – Trying to Right Wrongs

In 2007, the City Council of Atlanta decided that the city had seen enough, and it was time to do something about the prevalent rear-showing styles of today’s youth. A motion was proposed that would make wearing baggy jeans that showed boxer shorts or low-rise jeans that showed thongs illegal. Many news outlets posed the question, “Do you think this is a good idea or is it just another form of racial profiling?” Last I checked, this ban was on boxers and thongs showing, so unless boxers and thongs are now considered races, I think that question should be ruled illegal as well. Anyway, it didn’t pass (unfortunately) so I guess the fashion faux pas continues on.

Most of us have dreamt about seeing our favorite celeb in his or her underwear. For me, it became a reality when a very buff Mark Wahlberg stripped down to his boxer briefs for Calvin Klein. But for you sports fans, this new ad from Guitar Hero might be your chance.

With ARod sporting boxer briefs, Michael Phelps in black tighty whities, Tony Hawk in boxers and Kobe dancing around in athletic shorts, this ad is definitely one that gets even non-gamers to take a second look. We suggest ARod join Dancing with the Stars for some serious dance lessons, however.

Teased hair. Mullets. Tapered Jeans (infinitely different from skinny jeans). Electric Blue eyeshadow. Hi-cut bikini bottoms.

I’ve been there, done that (unfortunately), and hope these fashion faux pas never make it back into things considered socially acceptable again in my lifetime. The most recent fashion no-no that’s making me cringe? Visible panty lines, also known as VPL. You know you’ve seen it too – on the mall escalator, in the checkout line at the supermarket, at the gym when you’re on the elliptical and can’t finish your workout fast enough to get away from it, even at work. Really, there’s nothing like some hot VPL to ruin a great new outfit with those two horrible lines on your rear.

Women of the world, listen up. We have sat on the Supreme Court, we have travelled into space, we have run Fortune 500 companies, we have made some of the greatest discoveries in modern medicine, and we’re kind of essential in populating the world. We can certainly conquer VPL!

Solution #1 – womens thongs! So simple, so affordable, and so much sexier under your skirts, dress pants, jeans and shorts. And yes, the right style thong is comfortable. Womens thongs are available everywhere – you can easily order them online in the midst of your busy day too.

Solution #2 – Spanx shapewear. You knew I was going to say that. Even the fittest of women could use some smoothing of the behind. Spanx is modern shapewear that will lift, smooth, and tuck you in where you didn’t even know you needed it (or maybe you did). I’ve got my own for tummy, chest and rear, and I must say that I’ve found my true love. And Spanx is superb for getting rid of the dreaded Visible Panty Line to boot. Kill two birds with one stone? That’s what we do best.

It’s time to stop bumming around! Let’s all do our part to make this world a more beautiful place and make VPL a thing of the past – just like that hairstyle you sported in your high school yearbook photo.